Howdy Vape fam!…..just when you thought it was over, and that you were free from nonsensical codswallop Vape reviews I burst in leaving a Pugs shaped hole in the door and shouting at a barely audible level…..
“I have something quite shit for you today”
Maybe that’s a little harsh, this is after all a (I presume) budget piece of kit that I won in a giveaway from my good friends at Gearbest, and it’s name is….The Apepal Unique RDTA…. please…allow me to explain after I show you a picture..
“What’s wrong with that??” I hear you cry, and understandably so, I mean it’s brushed stainless for a start, and it is not ugly, in fact it is quite a nice looking RDTA all things considered…but that is not my issue, my issues with this tank are nothing to do with the way it looks, unless….I…turn it…..around….
That’s right people….That there, is a picture of a monkey…smoking a fucking cigarette.
No…no I am not. who in their right mind would put a picture of anything smoking a cigarette, on a device invented to stop you smoking cigarettes . (yes I know my Pug logo looks like he’s smoking a pipe, it’s an ePuffa okkk…tut )
Well…for this reason alone I needed answers, I mean this ANNOYED me, I’ve never been annoyed by a tank before, I mean I’ve been frustrated when certain bit’s of kit don’t work as they should for no apparent reason, or are too fiddly to get my chubby chipolata sausage fingers in there to do the job clearly designed for Lilliputians but this….when I looked at this I wanted to ram my fist down that stupid monkey’s throat….cigarette and all.
So anyway, I investigated, I donned my favourite tweed dear stalker hat, curly pipe and oversized magnifying glass and went in search of the people responsible for this atrocity.
The address I was given made no sense to me, but I went with it anyway..
Strange place to have an office I thought, fun….but strange, anyway, with one eye glaring through my magnifying glass I continued my quest. I found the office and gingerly walked in and immediately I thought something was off…
“Excuse me” I said to the rather odd looking receptionist who quite frankly could of done with a good hair cut, “I have an appointment for an interview with your chairman could you tell me where I could find his office please”
Hmm….not a word…bit rude, maybe work on your people skills a little, I thought, hitting the hair removal cream wouldn’t go a miss either madam. I carried on down the corridor to another door and popped my head in, this looks more like it..
‘Slightly creepy’ I thought, but went on in, “Hello, I’m Pugs and I have been asked to do a review on your Apepal RDTA tank and I would like to talk to the person responsible for the inappropriate smoking monkey picture on said item”
“Hello??…….I said my name’s Pugs and…
“Ok clearly I have caught you on an off-day, I am sorry to bother you” i said as I edged my way backwards out of the office. This was ridiculous, no one will speak to me and why are they all wearing fur coats indoors?..this has to be the strangest business I have ever visited. Anyway as I turned round I saw a sign on a door that simply read ‘Design’…’I’m In!’ I thought, and opened the door and almost choked instantly..
“Hello I’m Pugs” I politely stated, “And I’m here to…”
“I know why you’re here” said the odd looking Pygmy fur wearing receptionist (seriously it’s like 80 degrees in here wtf) ….”It was Kevin’s idea….you’ll find him in the garden” (puff puff)
At last!…a lead!….right, off to see Kevin in the Garden, Maybe then I’ll get some answers and get the hell out of this Asylum…
Ahhh fresh air!….and that must be Kevin over there in the ….fur…coat
“Hey, you must be Kevin I’m here to talk about…”
“I know why you’re here” interrupted Kevin, “it wasn’t my idea….well it was…but i told Colin, I said eh Colin, this is a shit idea this is…but Colin’s head of sales, and he’s a knob so…he insisted…anyway..Colin’s over there…ask him”
“Pugs my good man, Loving the smoking monkey design I hear yes?”
Wow..he really was a knob, “erm no, I think it’s shit…that’s why I’m here”
“Well damn my good man, maybe you should speak to the design team they made it sound like a jolly good larf, Heaven know’s where Kevin and his team pluck their idea’s from wot wot you know what i mean harharhar, ask them they’re over there my good fellow”
I turned round only to find exactly where Kevin’s team pluck their ideas from..
“Please won’t you stay for a drink with the boys wot wot” Colin shouted….
“Erm no…..no thank you”. And on that bombshell I decided I was indeed going to get nowhere in this quest for answers so I went home in the hope I could maybe….just maybe…find some redemption in this ‘unique’ RDTA.
So here i am back to some relative normality (excuse me?) and back to business…Smoking monkey aside I looked at the possibility that actually there is some good in this piece, I mean it’s £10……£10!, less than half the price of a Limitless Combo or Avocado…AND it has the same kind of Juice flow control as the Pharaoh…no really!…but alas..the problems don’t stop at the Monkey.
The centre Pin protrudes out like a dogs knob when presented with a large plump scatter cushion, it leaves like a 1 mm gap which makes the whole thing slightly wobble when you pick your mod up and when you try and take a hit it kinda feels like..
BUT…..I will say this…once you manage to get the thing in your mouth it actually gives a pretty good hit!…go figure, taste wasn’t bad either, so there is something in the way of practicality here it’s not a complete dead loss. And then there’s the retail presence!…I mean like I have said before you can’t deny the power of good packaging ..
Ah…..ok…..maybe not then.
I think the best way to look at this RDTA is definitely from a budget point of view, the thing works to a degree, and works quite well…ish, but for £10 you probably couldn’t get a different one with the same features, the smoking monkey is just fucking awful, the packaging is none existent as are the spares….seriously…nothing, but it Vapes well, the airflow is vast and it looks kinda cool…once you can see past the Monkey…which I couldn’t., So I phoned Kevin to let him know that the review had been done.
And that unfortunately it wasn’t a very good one, I told him where to find it and sent him a link. I don’t think he took it very well.